Not The Happily Ever After

Once upon a time, a girl fell in love with a boy. He meant the world to her and she meant the world to him. She thought that was the ending she’s been looking for. But reality hit and her heart was shattered into pieces.

The girl was broken before the boy came along. She has stopped loving herself and has given up on love. One day, a boy showed up in her life and changed everything. For the first time, she realized she could be loved. For the first time, she realized she was worthy of love. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel alone anymore.

What is love?

Love, a four letter word that has been said by every person on this earth. So what does the word "love" mean? Love, by definition, is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. But what exactly is it? How do you know when you are in love? How does one fall in love and how can one fall out of love? Those are the questions no one seems to have the answers to.

For some people, love can be used to describe almost anything in daily life. For couples in long-term relationships, love means loyalty and commitment. But for the ones who is getting into their first relationship, love may feel messy and complicated. It doesn't matter where you fall on the spectrum, whether your love life is blissful or nonexistent, it's clear that everyone has an opinion on love.

What does love mean to the girl?

For the girl, love is security, respect, commitment, and sacrifice. For the girl, she had forgotten about love for a long time. Then on October 30, 2018, she felt love again. She was loved by a boy who respects her. She was loved by a boy who would be there no matter what happens. She was loved by a boy who is willing to make sacrifices. She was loved. She dreamt of growing old with the boy. She dreamt of saying "I do" to the boy. She dreamt of a happy life standing next to the boy along with their future kids. But everything she dreamt about only stayed a dream.

August 26, 2019, the girl woke up heartbroken. The boy had become paranoid. The boy couldn't handle being so far away. Long-distance relationship got the best of him. He thought the girl was unfaithful. He thought someone new had taken the girl's heart. He was wrong but there was nothing the girl could've said to make him believe her. So at 11:43 in the morning, the girl's heart got shattered into pieces by the boy's insecurities and jealousy.

To the boy the girl fell in love with:

There were things I wanted to say and kept it unsaid because I’m afraid I’ll end up crying again. When I tried to write you a letter before, all I could write down was fuck you. I didn’t want you to read it because you don’t deserve it.

I didn’t want you to think that I hate you because to tell you the truth, you gave me something I have long forgotten – love. So instead of hating you for the things you said to me at the end of our relationship, I want to say thank you. Thank you, is just a repeated phrase I have been telling you since the day we met. Thank you for giving me the chance to love you; for all those amazing dates we had; for introducing me to your family; for the respect, love, care, understanding, and for the relationship we had. Thank you because you made me feel special and valued. Thank you because you are the first one who broke my heart but it’s okay because my fragile heart is now stronger than before. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you because I don’t deserve this but still you chose to love me.

Sorry, and I mean it after all this time. Sorry for giving up on us but I am not sorry for letting this go. At one point, I really hated you. For hurting me and for making me feel like I was a mistake to you. But above all of this, I want to say thank you for letting me go. Because even though I am alone and sometimes feel lonely, I am finally happy again. I hope you will find the same happiness one day.